The incredibly stupid accident
by Dudegirl
Summary: Something happens which leads to an extremely stupid accident that creates some interesting results. The kind of story you write while drunk...but I don't drink. Much.
1. The accidental Prologue

Dudegirl is back again. *Unenthusiastic yaaay*

Like all my stories I wrote after 2005 I probably wrote this while high. On sugar. And thus this...interesting idea was born and today it went under a heavy editphest and in my state of high blood sugar levels I thought it would be a great idea to post it.

And now I give you the prologue.

To this day I'm still writing this story because I'm a sadist.

Disclaimer: The usual. I don't own anything. I do own some sea monkeys though...but I haven't put the eggs in the water yet. The last ones lasted about 2 weeks.

* * *

Full title:**  
**

**"The terrible incident that should have never happened if not for certain circumstances that made someone really pissed off"**

Prologue

At last the world was his! He had thought...for about three minutes.

After three minutes was over he discovered it wasn't that exiting after all. He had made a slight mis-calculation. One he liked to call 'Action Man'. As always he survived to try again but this time he wasn't able to dodge the very thing he was trying to blow up the Earth with. At least he managed to damage one thing. Himself.

He returned to the airship, fading in and out of consciousness. He didn't have much longer. If he was going to continue he had to act fast. Even if he did make it to the medbay he would be down for a long time. And even then he wasn't sure if he would actually recover. This should have killed him instantly. Good thing Tempest was there to help him. Tempest was smart. He was a very good mechanic for the counsil of Doom. But Dr.X was smarter. Tempest probably wouldn't need that brain any more would he?

The whole plan would have worked if Tempest hadn't figured it out. It would have also worked if Action Man hadn't figured it out either. And now Tempest had run away somewhere. He didn't know where Action Man was. He probably ran after Tempest.

Fortunately there was someone who hadn't run away to see if Tempest and Action Man had any food. Mr. Tinkles. The white cat sat on the table, purring, not at all worried that there was a human dying on the floor below him. Who knew? Maybe the cat _did_ notice him bleeding on the floor and actually enjoyed it. X's beloved cat always had a very twisted sense of humour...if cats can even _have_ a sense of humour. Mr. Tinkles jumped down from the table to meow in his face. Probably to make sure he was dead.

And that was the last thing he remembered...

* * *

The end.

I mean to be continued...this is just the prologue. It's not the end yet.

You can review now and tell me whether or not I've spelled 'prologue' wrong throughout the entire thing. That's the main thing I am worried about.


	2. Chapter 1: Where is that damned cat?

Hey, do you guys remember what I wrote in the last chapter? Neither do I.

* * *

Chapter One (or: Where the &$%# is that damned cat?)

Dr.X yawned as he woke, discovering that he was still alive. A little surprised by his survival he spend the next few minutes trying to remember how he ended up in the medbay.

That brain transfer attempt was a disaster. Even worse than the last one. Last time he didn't die before he had even started it. Well actually he didn't die. He scanned the room, finding his long dead corpse on the floor. Alright, maybe it wasn't a disaster after all. He was alive. Brandon's shell, although temporary, served its purpose. He could now search for Mr. Tinkles who had probably run off somewhere.

He had replaced Tempest and could continue with the rest of his plans. Right after he disposed of Action Man. At least he thought Action Man was still on the ship. He could have been wrong. He could search for both him and Mr. Tinkles.

But first he had to make absolutely sure that Tempest was completely gone. He didn't want a repeat of TrilobugBrandon.

But where was Mr. Tinkles? Maybe Mr. Tinkles didn't recognise him any more.

He scanned the computer for traces of Tempest's brain patterns. He found none. He hadn't even deleted them yet. Where could they have gone to? Oh...

Maybe that's where Mr. Tinkles was...

He sighed. His favourite bad tempered elderly cat was now a bad tempered teenage boy.

He called for Tempest and got a "maiw!" in reply. Good, Tempest wasn't too far off.

This computer was a lot bigger than he remembered. How did it get so big? How long had he been sitting on the keyboard causing a long chain of errors?

Where was Tempest?

Where was Action Man?

Where was Mr. Tinkles?

And most importantly: Where did he get that tail fr-...?

He looked at his reflection in the computer screen.

"Oh..." said X as he fainted and fell off the keyboard.

Tempest dared to go into the med-bay again. He found X, who was finally dead. Mr. Tinkles was there too, passed out on the floor in front of the computer. That cat would sleep anywhere. He saw Mr. Tinkles sleeping in toxic waste once. The cat glowed green for weeks, but he was fine. That cat seemed to be immortal.

Tempest had seen the pictures of the many cats X had through his life. All named Mr. Tinkles. X wasn't very creative with names. Or maybe...it was the same Mr. Tinkles, just with different bodies.

The thought made Tempest shudder. How old was Mr. Tinkles? He and X seemed to get along fine anyway. The cat was just as evil as X was. There was a rumour within the Counsel that Mr. Tinkles had tasted human flesh and blood and maybe even fed on it on a regular basis. This rumour was probably inspired by the cats quick temper. Tinkles was a nice cat but always seemed possessed.

Not wanting to be the one to wake the bad tempered cat, Tempest quietly left the room. But he had failed. A blood curdling shreik came from Tinkles. Tempest made the mistake of glancing back into the room. Tinkles was fully awake. He wasn't prepared for the little white comet as it bolted towards him. He found himself on the floor after being trampled by a fluffy white cat. Something seemed different about Mr. Tinkles. The cat attacked him out of fear and not anger. Something had scared the cat. Tempest sat up, seeing the corpse of Dr.X again. That wasn't enough to scare Tinkles. The cat was more likely to eat it than run away from it.

He looked back to see Mr. Tinkles galloping down the hallway as if he was on fire.

Tempest was left to ponder on the question of what to do next.

* * *

And Dudegirl was pondering on the same question.


	3. Chapter 2: Silence of the cats

I'm still writing this? Ok, first a little background on Mr. Tinkles who has only been in about three lines of the two chapters I have posted. Will we ever meet Mr. Tinkles again? Why would answer that question?

I saw the movie Cats and Dogs a long time ago and while writing this story I subconsciously named Tinkles after one of the cats from the movie by accident. Mr. Tinkles was always a working title until I could find a name X was more likely to name his cat. I considered 'Precious'. But then I decided I didn't want any psychopaths who wear human skin as clothing in this story. Oh wait...technically X _is_ one of those...in a less disturbing way.

* * *

Chapter Two (Or: It rubs the lotion or it gets the hose again!)

(Actually, no. I think this one will be nameless.)

X silently cursed to himself. This was not what he expected. He was a very evil, very dangerous terrorist trapped in the body of a very evil, very dangerous terrorist's cat.

He galloped down the hallway towards his quarters in silence. It would have been silence if it weren't for that annoying high pitched sound in his ear. What the hell was that? He then realized it was that damned bell around his neck which had twisted around so that it was tight under his left ear. Who's idea was it to put that bell there anyway?

It was his idea...

Why did he put that bell there? It seemed cute at the time, but not anymore.

As he reached the door it opened automatically. X loved this cat so much he couldn't bare to keep it locked outside.

As soon as he was inside he growled and scratched at his collar trying to pull it off. He slipped his paw underneath it to pull it over his head. He had...slightly misjudged the size of his own head. He was now lying on the floor strangled by his own collar.

He had always wondered how his life would actually end. He expected something interesting like...dying in battle. But being trapped in the body of his own cat then eventually strangled to death by said cat's collar...

Maybe if he twisted right he could make it look like a suicide to save embarrassment. Or maybe even a murder. That would be far more interesting. As he twisted he discovered that it wasn't a very good idea after all. Now he was even more strangled by the collar.

As he lay there slowly choking to death his life flashed before his eyes. Or rather, he just took the opportunity to remember his life because he was too lazy to save it.

It was alright. Could have been better though. He wasn't going to miss it anyway. It wasn't really that great. He had a terrible life. His entire life was very traumatising. He hated everything. That suicide idea he had a few seconds ago wasn't that bad...or maybe it was a few minutes. Or hours. Or even days. X didn't know anything anymore. Probably because his brain was shutting down due to lack of oxygen.

He gave one final tug and the collar came loose. That's when he remembered to thank himself for giving Mr. Tinkles a collar with a safety clip...that had malfunctioned and had just nearly killed him.

He sat there for a few minutes getting his breath back.

His previous shell was dead. His intended host, Tempest had disappeared. He was in Mr. Tinkles body. So where were the brain patterns of Tempest and Mr. Tinkles?

He slowly pulled himself to his feet (and then fell over after forgetting that cats walk on four legs). So many things he had to find today. It was up to him to find out whose mind went to what body and he had to fix it as soon as possible.

-

Tempest quickly snuck past Dr.X's quarters. He had seen Mr. Tinkles run in there earlier.

He jumped at a small voice behind him.

"Mr. Tinkles?" a voice hissed.

Tempest kept moving.

"Tempest! Get back here!"

Tempest gulped. It sounded like Dr.X, but the voice was different. He looked back to see a pair of eyes peering out from the slightly open door, one red. It was definitely X.

"X? You're still alive?"

"Don't act so surprised, boy. You know I'm hard to kill." The eyes seemed nervous, "You haven't seen...Mr. Tinkles anywhere have you?"

"I saw him run to your quarters. Why?"

The eyes darted towards X's quarters.

"Well...just to let you know...if you find Mr. Tinkles he may seem a little...different..."

"X..." said Tempest, "What have you done?"

"I didn't do anything! It was an accident!"

"Why are you hiding in there anyway?"

"Umm...I might have a slight disfigurement from the accident...it's rather...embarrassing..."

"What kind of disfigurement?"

The eyes disappeared as...Mr. Tinkles appeared.

"Oh, hey Mr. Tinkles! Where have you been?"

Mr. Tinkles sat with his tail wrapped around his feet, growling.

"X has been looking for you; you should run off like that!"

He reached down to scratch the cats ears before the cat let out a hiss and swiped a claw at him.

"Ow, geez Mr. Tinkles." he pulled back his badly scratched hand, "Where did X go anyway?"

"Oh, gee, I don't know, Tempest!" snarled the cat, "Maybe somewhere nearby!?"

"Holy...Mr. Tinkles, you can talk?"

"It's me you idiot!"

Tempest blinked.

"Dr.X..."

It took a while to sink in...

"Oh...right."

Tempest still hadn't quite got it...

"X? You're Mr. Tinkles!"

X groaned.

"What the hell happened?"

"The transfer was interrupted." said X, "And without you as a host my brain patterns had to go somewhere. Fortunately I had given Mr. Tinkles a few upgrades a while ago and since that was the only warm body available at the time..."

Tempest grinned, "And now you're trapped in the body of a cat. Didn't think it worked that way."

"I didn't either."

"So...what do we do now?"

"Mr. Tinkles could still be into the computer. He may not have been erased yet...Hey! Put me down!"

X was not at all impressed with being picked up and carried around like some...beloved pet. He snarled and hissed and dug his claws into Tempests arm. He would pick tooth and claw over a plasma gun any day. It was more fun.

Tempest carefully placed him (as much as he could) near the computer.

X searched for any sign of Mr. Tinkles. "He's not here." He said, "He's uploaded himself into something else."

"What makes you think he's done it himself?" Tempest asked.

X looked guiltily back at Tempest.

"Tinkles has been through the transfer process many times before. He knows how it all works."

"So it was the same Mr. Tinkles in all those pictures."

"Exactly."

"How old is Mr. Tinkles anyway?"

"I would say about 57."

"Holy crap!"

"And all this is exactly why he is so dangerous. He is out there somewhere and if he needs to he can transfer himself into something else. He is a virus." X said, "Tempest, you must find Tinkles and stop him before he does any damage."

"Why me?"

"I can't do it! Look at me!" X picked at his fur to prove his point, but at the same time momentarily forgetting how hard it was to stand on only two legs; which nearly caused him to topple off the table.

"Alright, but you totally owe me." Said Tempest.

"As soon as you find him bring him to me so I can put everything back to the way it was." X leaped down from the table, "Tinkles will return to being a cat and I can start the transfer all over again. Then we can forget this whole thing ever happened and no one will ever know."

"Aww. You're not going to need me again are you?"

"Just go find that damned cat! And don't tell anyone!"

* * *

It's been three chapters and they _still_ haven't found Mr. Tinkles? Well they're never going to find him. They saw the computer. He's gone They're just going to spend the rest of the fic running around like idiots looking for a cat that doesn't exist any more AHAHAHAHAHA!!


	4. Chapter 3: Still searching for the cat

They're _still _searching? They officially suck at this.

Your lord and master Mr. Tinkles FTW!

* * *

Chapter 3 (or: These guys should never play hide and seek)

While Tempest was occupied with searching for any trace of Mr. Tinkles, Dr X climbed into the small, out of reach places that were Tinkles' usual haunts. The air vent was his first choice. He sat at the entrance and called for Mr. Tinkles.

So far no reply, not that Tinkles would bother replying anyway. There was a cool echo though. But he had to look for Mr. Tinkles. Who cares about echos? Alright maybe they were a little entertaining but he had no time for echoes...ok maybe just one. He was calling for Tinkles again just to make sure. The echoes were not important.

As he crawled through the small space he took the opportunity to try his new cat senses to track down Tinkles. This led to a sneezing fit. When was the last time anyone cleaned in there? At least his nose was useful for something. He found Gangrene. Actually, that wasn't very useful. With a new cats nose everything smelled different and more powerful. He covered his nose, scared that the smell was enough to kill him. He waited for Gangrene to leave before continuing.

He had reached the end of the vent. No sign of Mr. Tinkles. The only thing he had was the small headache that he had on and off since the accident. Leaving the vent he now noticed the migrane slowly becoming worse and now with a painful ringing in his ears.

He lay on the floor, paws over his ears.

-

"There you are, Mr. Tinkles!"

Azasi had found the white cat curled up in the middle of the floor (which was of course a common occourance with Tinkles as the cat always threw a tantrum at whoever triped over him).

The cat looked mournfully up at her and gave an un-enthusiastic "mau" then went back to sleeping on the floor.

"Come on, Tinkles. I think X wants you out of the way."

The cat grumbled as she picked him up.

"What is it this time?" she said, "I think its time we had you nutured."

The cats eyes widened. Mr. Tinkles squirmed before twisting his head around and sinking his teeth into her hand. He dropped to the floor and quickly ran out of the room.

-

Tempest saw the terrified cat speeding down the hallway. Tempest followed X.

"Did you find him?" Tempest said.

X slowed down to a trot.

"No, but I found Azasi." X told him, "That woman is a sadistic bitch."

"Right..." said Tempest, not wanting to ask.

X turned to face Tempest, wrapping his tail around his paws. "What about you?"

"I didn't find anything either."

"Keep your eyes open." X said, "We may not know exactly what we are looking for by he has to be around here somew-...ow!"

"What is it?"

"Nothing..." said X, "Headache..." he wiped his running nose with a paw.

"X..."

The cats eyes narrowed. "What?" then he looked down at his paw. The white fur was now stained red. He cursed.

"That...doesn't look healthy..." said Tempest.

X tried to pinch his nose before he remembered that he didn't have any fingers.

Tempest gently picked the cat up as X slowly faded into unconsciousness.

* * *

I still have no idea why I wrote this. But I already know where Mr. Tinkles is. And I'm not telling you.


	5. Chapter 4: Waiting

In the last few chapters:

Tempest and X failed at hide and seek. And they're still failing.

* * *

Chapter 4: Waiting...(or: Why doesn't X just give up and buy a puppy?)

Tempest placed the sleeping cat on the table. Azasi stood in the medbay beside him after discovering the news that Mr Tinkles had fallen unconcious.

"Poor cat probably ran head first into a wall chasing a light." she said.

"Yeh." Tempest smirked, "He's an old cat anyway. I think he's getting senile." he turned back to the cat "He's been sick for quite a while. X only just kept him alive. If we have to we should put him down."

"Hmm...that's too bad. X loved that cat." Azasi scratched the cat's ears.

Mr. Tinkles opened his eyes and whimpered.

"X is gone now..." Tempest said, "I'm sure he would rather Mr. Tinkles join him down there soon than continue to suffer up here."

"I bet X is having the time of his life 'down there'."

The cat continued to whimper, holding his paws over his head. But something seemed off. The way Tinkles was curled up on the table and the way he held his paws was almost...human like. She could have sworn she heard the cat speak. Almost as if he were saying 'Too small...too small...'

"Umm...are you ok?" Tempest asked the cat.

"No no...I'm too small...it's too small...can't..."

"You're not making any sense."

Azasi blinked "Mr. Tinkles?"

"The complexities of the human brain...all compressed to the size of a walnut...it's too small...I can't do anything like this...I don't know what will happen next..."

"What's going on?" Azasi demanded.

"Huh? What talking cat? I don't hear Mr. Tinkles talking at all. You must be hallucinating." Tempest lied (badly).

"Oh...Azasi I didn't see you there." said the cat, "I think I've gone blind..."

Maybe it wasn't Mr. Tinkles. She recognised that tone and speech pattern. There was only one person that spoke like that.

"X, what the hell did you do to Mr. Tinkles?"

"Well...you see...umm...I was trying to find a new body and..." X trailed off, "It was all Tempest's fault!" he pointed.

"X..."

"Yes?"

"Tempest is over there. You just pointed at my chest."

"Oh...sorry..."

Pause.

"X! Put your paw down! You're still pointing at me!"

X quickly lowered his paw, casting his eyes down at the table he was sitting on in embarassment. X was almost adorable as a cat. Almost. "I told you I can't see anything!"

"We're still looking for where Mr. Tinkles went." Tempest added.

"Really? Where did his brainwaves go?"

"That's what we are trying to find out."

"So let me get this straight. Tinkles is lost somewhere and you are trying to find him. You don't know where his brainwaves went so you don't know what he looks like now."

"Umm...yes. That's right." said X.

"How are you going to find him if you don't even know what you are looking for?"

Tempest and Dr. X looked at each other. Azasi snorted. Men...

"Awww...we're never going to find Mr. Tinkles." said Tempest, "I guess that means your stuck as as cat, X."

X said nothing.

"X?"

Dr.X didn't respond. He just sat there on the table staring into space, unblinking

"Great." said Azasi, "His brain finally melted. Look, it's leaking out his nose."

X finally blinked before trillobugs swarmed into the room and gathered at his paws.

"Took a little longer than usuall." X said.

Tempest and Azasi both stared at him.

"How does he do that?"

X continued, "If we can't find Mr. Tinkles, the trillobugs will. Get off!" he said as some of the trillobugs climbed onto his head, "But we must keep this to ourselves. Don't let anyone know anything about what is going on. Can you to keep it a secret? Ow! Do I look like a playground to you?"

"We will try." said Tempest.

"X...are you ok?" said Azasi.

"Everything is fine. The trillobugs know Mr. Tinkles is now me but they don't quite understand that I am _not_ Mr. Tinkles." he hissed as he brushed the trillobugs off himself, "Mr. Tinkles likes to play with trillobugs."

"I get it." said Azasi, "You're going to send the trillobugs all over the ship. Tinkles won't be able to resist playing with one and when he does they will alert you of where he is."

X blinked, "That could really work! Better than the plan I had."

Azasi sighed and covered her face with her hand. "You hadn't thought of that?"

"No I hadn't. That's actually really clever. And to think when I hired you I thought you only had two brains...ow!" X said as Azasi slaped him over the head.

"I don't get it." said Tempest.

"What the hell?" said X, "You bi-...oh. I seemed to have regained my vision. Thank you Azasi."

-

X sent out the trilobugs and they waited.

10 minutes later they were still sitting in the corridor...

"Well this sucks..." said Tempest.

Dr.X, who had been taking a really good look at his foot for the past ten minutes, attempted to pull his leg over his head. He seemed slightly disturbed when he succeeded.

"Have you tried licking your own butt yet?" Asazi pestered him.

X's ears flattened, "Why would I want to do that?"

"Well you can't use toilet paper any more. You don't have any hands!"

X covered his ears with his paws.

"Uggh...another reason to get out of this body as soon as possible!"

"Well we haven't found Tinkles yet." said Tempest.

"Tinkles? Oh right..." said X, "The trillobugs found him 10 minutes ago."

"They _found_ him?" Tempest said, "Then why have we been sitting here for the past 10 minutes?"

X looked at the floor, "I'm sorry..." he said, "With such a small brain there are so many things in my head at once. I forgot."

"So where is Mr. Tinkles?" Asazi asked him.

"The last time they saw him he had returned to the medbay and was sleeping on the table. But I think he's gone somewhere else since then."

"No, I mean where did his brain go?"

X didn't say anything. After a few seconds he wrapped his tail around his legs and chewed his paw.

"X?"

"I don't know..."

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"Well...technically they haven't actually found Tinkles. However they have found something that they recognise but it is in a place it is not usually found. The thing treats them in the same way that Tinkles does and even speaks like him...but with a different voice..."

Tempest frowned, "X...that made no sense whatsoever..."

"I don't get it either." X said guiltily, "Trillobugs aren't very smart...and their senses are limited. Everything they tell me is cryptic."

...

Two minutes of silence later...

"What the hell do we do now?" said Tempest.


	6. Chapter 5: Hunter or hunted?

This story started with a question that had been going though my head: What if the transfer to Brandon's body was interrupted and Dr.X ended up somewhere...different? There were many options: A trillobug. A member of Team Extreme. Dolly Parton. Me. And of course a white cat.

And now here we are after so many chapters. When are they going to find Mr. Tinkles?????

* * *

Chapter 4 (or hurry up and find that #$%ing cat!!!)

Mr. Tinkles moved in the darkness, testing his new body.

Everything was smaller now and this body had more limits than the previous one. Some things were easier though. He crept silently and peered around the corner. He could see them now. They sat in the corridor.

A purple-cold-bug crawled past his foot and he stomped on it.

The white cats ears twitched and the head looked back.

Mr. Tinkles slinked back into the shadows.

-

Dr.X wrinkled his nose.

"Mr Tinkles!" he hissed.

He got to his feet. "Someone went into the hanger. It could be Tinkles."

They now stood at the entrance to the hanger. Dr.X sat on the floor.

"Who wants to go in first?" he said.

Tempest and Azasi didn't respond.

Dr.X looked back at the hanger.

Azasi held Tempest's arm up.

"Look, Tempest wants to go first!"

Tempest pulled his hand away, "Why don't _you_ go first? It would save us a lot of trouble!" the boy growled.

"Stop that!" said X, "Tempest, you are going in first."

"What?! But-"

X's tail twitched.

"Ok fine..."

Tempest hesitantly went into the hangar.

-

Mr. Tinkles waited.

The Master-human had sent a kitten in. The one with the long-bite-sticks. Bad move. This one would go down easily. Tinkles would win this one for sure.

-

It was dark in the hangar. had somehow figured out how to turn out the lights.

"Mr. Tinkles?" Tempest called.

A movement caught his eye. In the shadows he saw the figure of a human sitting on a pile of boxes. Tempest recognised him.

"What the hell are _you_ doing here?"

The man ignored him.

Tempest stepped closer.

"Mr. Tinkles?"

The man continued to ignore him. Yup. It was defiantly Mr. Tinkles.

"Holy crap!" Tempest couldn't believe it, "I can't believe it." … "Wait till X sees this."

Mr. Tinkles was looking at him now, grinning from ear to ear.

"Come on Mr. Tinkles. We've been looking everywhere for you."

As Tempest got closer the cat/human moved quickly and prepared to pounce.

"Tinkles, this is not time for playing! I have to bring you to X now."

Mr. Tinkles only leaped away and disappeared into the darkness. Tempest called after him, even let a few bolts loose on him.

"Stupid cat!" Tempest yelled, "Where did you go?"

There was a 'maiu!' from above and Tempest looked up to see Tinkles leaping head first from the roof of a helicopter, arms outstretched. The idiot was going to break his spine doing that. All within a split second Tinkles grabbed Tempest by the shoulders, flipped backwards and planted his feet on the floor. Tinkles pulled himself up, flinging Tempest across the room in the process.

Tempest hit the wall. He was stunned for a few seconds as the cat stood over him. Mr. Tinkles chuckled.

"I win." said Tinkles.

-

Tempest had been gone for 20 minutes. X sighed.

"Tempest seems to have failed. Azasi...?" X looked back. Azasi had gone. Traitor.

He looked back to the hangar. Well he was the only one left now.

-

Master-human had entered the hunt. Just the one Tinkles wanted. If he beat this one he would have won for sure.

-

X kept his eyes open for any sign of Mr. Tinkles and what was left of Tempest. Mostly because he wanted to see what Tinkles could do to a human now. He smelled something on the air. It wasn't Tempest. He knew Tempest's smell by now. This was probably Tinkles. He still wasn't sure what he was looking for. He hadn't figured out the differences between human smells and other smells yet.

He was stopped in his tracks by a boot. A human boot...wait, what other animal would wear a boot but a human? Thinking was hard in such a small brain.

X looked up to see a familiar face that he recognised. Oh...

This was not a good time. Not a good time at all. This was not supposed to happen! He couldn't handle this!

Alex Mann...

He _was_ still on the ship after all. He thought he had seen Tinkles but it turned out to be Action Man. He wasn't going to confront Action Man like this!

His entire life was a joke. He groaned and slammed his head into the floor in annoyance, desperately trying to prevent himself from cursing which would probably blow his cover. To his horror the man picked him up and held him and held him at eye level.

Dr.X flattened his ears and growled. He tried to act like a cat the best he could.

Action Man just smiled.

"Ok. I'm done." he said, "I won. But you're good at this game!"

X was carefully placed back down on the floor, slightly confused.

"Oh and if your looking for Tempest he's fine. I just tied him up and shoved him in one of the helicopters."

The man reached down to scratch his ears. X bared his teeth and hissed. X had been practising since being in this new body. He had never hissed as good as this one. Maybe a good hiss only came when there was the right motivation behind it...why was he pondering on hissing?

The man's face changed.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Alex Mann growled, "Don't hiss at me like that. Do you even know what it means?" the man's temper grew, "Don't you try to start a fight with me, because you will loose!"

X blinked. This wasn't like Action Man. Apart from Tempest, there was only one person with such a quick temper.

"M-Mr. Tinkles?"

"Yes?"

"Fffffff...." was all X said.

"Umm...what?" said Action Man.

Dr.X fainted.

* * *

And I nearly lost my PG rating. I probably lost it in the first chapter anyway.

It seems they have sort of found Mr. Tinkles. Where did you guess he was?

So anyway...

The End! The story is done now! YAAAAY!

Oh wait...doesn't X have to get everything back the way it was?

FFFFFffffff....

Oh well the story continues with even more interesting results.


	7. Chapter 6: Found the damned cat

Chapter 6 (Or: It couldn't possible get any worse.)

Mr. Tinkles sat beside the Alpha-human, who was traped in Tinkles previous host. The Alpha-Human was finally awake. The human had seemed to be trying to say something but fell asleep before he had a chance to. He must have been very tired.

Now the human sat with his paws covering his face repeating the names of a few human deities over and over. Then he moved on to various other words which were apparently offensive in the human sound-words (plus a few other words that Tinkles never heard before). Even though he knew what they meant Tinkles still didn't quite get what was so bad about them.

The Alpha-Human finally stopped and was silent for another minute.

"Are you done yet, human?" said Tinkles.

The Alpha-Human lowered his paws. "I think...I am...almost..." the human looked up at him, "Please tell me this is a joke."

"Joke?" said Tinkles, "Well...I suppose it is kind of funny..." he scratched his neck, "Wait...funny...what is that exactly? I still don't get it..."

The human whimpered.

"Well this didn't turn out too bad. You got a new body and so did I!"

The human continued to make noises from behind his paws that covered his face again.

"Why are you doing that?" said Tinkles, "What does it mean? Bastet's nose ring! Your eyes have melted!"

"My eyes aren't melting!"

"There is water coming out of your eyes! Oh...this means your sad, right?"

"Why?" said the human, "Why did this happen?"

"I saw you were close to the end-sleep and since you lost a potential host I decided to give you my own."

The humans ears pricked up in surprise, "Really? You did that to save me?"

"Yes...well...your kind may be inferior and far too big to be prey but I still like you anyway! Your my human."

As the human stared at him his sad seemed to go away. The human proceeded to wipe his face with his tail. Which wasn't very successful.

"Try the side of your front leg. It's easier."

-

The two sat there for a while. Mr. Tinkles scratched X behind the ears. X, who had been purring loudly, lashed his tail.

"Urgh! Why won't it stop?! I've tried holding my breath and everything! This is worse than hiccups!"

-

Azasi and the recently freed Tempest watched with some curiosity as Action Man placed Dr.X on the table.

"The good news is I found Mr. Tinkles and I figured out how to purr." X pointed at Action Man, "The bad news is I found Mr. Tinkles and I figured out how to purr."

"What does that mean exactly?" said Tempest.

"It won't stop!"

"No, I mean, what do we do with him now?"

Dr.X squinted at the new Mr. Tinkles. Tinkles shrugged.

"I like it this way. It is not so bad."

The others stared in shock, "Since when did Tinkles know English?"

"The brain of Mr. Mann and Mr. Tinkles seems to have merged togeather since Tinkles brain doesn't take up too much space. Probably transferred over parts Mr. Mann doesn't use."

"Which would be all of it." Tempest added.

Ignoring the comment Dr. X continued, "Mr. Tinkles would have access to everything...memories, everything Mr. Mann has learned...everything..." X looked back at Tinkles.

Tinkles looked over at Tempest and Azasi, then back at X. "Ummm...you obviously want something..."

Tinkles became un-easy about the cats purr. "Mr. Tinkles I think you might find something inside that head if you look hard enough."

"I find lots of things!"

"Yes but I want you to look for something more specific...with numbers."

"Numbers? Oh yeh, that thing. Why would you want that? Don't you have one too?"

"Can you trigger it?"

"Yes...but I don't know how it works." said Tinkles, "I am a cat, remember? I may know how to count now, but I still don't get what counting is...I am sorry. I am not very good at this."

"X...does this mean...Action Jock is still in there?" said Tempest.

"Yes this human is still in here. I like him very much." said Tinkles, "But he is asleep now. Maybe when he wakes up we can find this numbers thing!" Tinkles nudged X, "But you must get off now. I will go to sleep too."

"Do you need to sleep now?"

"I only got 15 hours sleep today!"

"But you can sleep anywhere! That chair over there, the floor, my face. Why did you pick this tab-...alright I'll get off!"

X lay draped over the sleeping /human. Mr. Tinkles had insisted that X stay with him. Dr.X yawned and stretched his front legs before shutting his eyes. His purr was still going and hadn't stopped since he had figured out how it worked. Brilliant. He was trapped in the body of his own cat. His cat had merged brains with his nemisis. And now he was going to be kept awake by his own purr that never stopped. Or maybe not. It was helping him sleep. After his eyes slowly closed he had a sudden anxious feeling...as if he were missing something. Something was seriously wrong! He couldn't breathe! He was going to die! He woke up with a snort, realising that he had just worked himself into a panic attack because the purr had finally stopped. He drifted back to sleep, wandering how he was going to fix all this.


	8. Chapter 7: Lost the FFFFing cat again

Chapter 7 (or: Why am I still writing this?)

X woke the next morning. He yawned and scanned the room for his clock...which had gone missing for some mysterious reason...then he remembered everything that had happened the day before. He groaned as he sat up on the table, still stuck in the body of Mr. Tinkles. There was something else that had disappeared: Action Man possessed by Mr. Tinkles.

He looked up to see Tempest standing beside the table. He seemed a little more agitated than usual. Dr.X rubbed his eyes with the side of his paw.

"Oh...Tempest. Did you see where Mr. Tinkles went?"

"Yes..." Tempest said slowly, "But if I tell you, you won't like me anymore."

X looked at Tempest for a few seconds, "Tempest...where is Mr. Tinkles?"

"He's not here. Action Man escaped."

"Oh, Ok. Can you call him in for me?"

"...I can't. He's gone. I told you he escaped."

Dr. X blinked.

"Escaped?...as in...he's not on the ship any more?"

"Yes." said Tempest, backing away a little.

You probably could have heard X's vile, blood curdling shrieking from the other side of the airship. Azasi did.

"Hmm...didn't know X had such a colourful language..." she said. She considered searching for a dictionary out of curiosity.

Tempest stood in the doorway, holding his lightning rods in front of his face.

"X...are you...ok?"

X didn't respond.

"Say something!"

"I'm fine Tempest. Perfectly fine." X said quickly, "Great in fact! This is perfect! I'm stuck like this forever!" Dr.X laughed unconrolibly until he fell off the table.

Tempest knelt beside the cat and picked him up.

-

"...can you explain all that to me again?"

"In one sentence...congratulations! I am inside your brain!"

Alex sighed, but did not remove his hand that now covered his face.

"This is very good, yes?"

"I just have one last question." said Alex, "Who the hell are you? And why are you in my brain?"

"That was not one question. That was...um...two? Yes. Two...I think. Does two come after one?"

"Are you going to answer my question or not?"

"Ok. Now one more than two. I am not very skilled in counting you know. But you may call me Amut and we have a few-ones-more-than-one things in common."

"Like what?"

"I know the one you refer to as X. You know this human, yes?"

"Dr.X..." it felt weird talking to this strange person inside his head. Maybe he should just stop talking to him. Talking to someone in his head. Yup. He was going insane. And apparenly this 'person' knew Dr.X, maybe even by another name. All the more reason not to trust them.

"Human, you have stopped making word-sounds. Have you run out?"

"Why should I trust you?"

"Because I let you escape. I helped you escape because you are now my human I like being inside your head and I like you. X wanted to separate us. And I will not let him transfer into your body because I like you. You will stay just the way you are."

This person was seriously creeping him out. Alex tried searching for this brain that was supposedly merged with his. It was very small. As he reached for it he could feel the personality and see all the memories of this person. Strange memories too. Small body, small brain. He remembered many years of knowing Dr.X, probably long before Alex was even born. He remembered the many transfers this person had been though. Their bodies didn't last long. He remembered running up a tree after being chased by a dog. He remembered eating a mouse...a rather...gross memory. Why would you eat a mouse unless you were really desperate? Then he remembered having his ears scratched and howling at the moon and running around in circles after a shiny light and licking his bum and...oh crap...

"Of all the sick think X could have done to me, he puts a _cat_ in my brain?!"

"Alex?"

Alex turned away from the bathroom mirror, noticing that Rikki was searching for him.

_I have to go now, Amut. _Alex told the cat, _I will talk to you later._

The cat understood.

If it was all true, having a cat in his brain wasn't as bad as he had thought. 'Amut' was highly protective of Alex and tried to stay out of trouble. There were interesting conversations between the two. Not everyone gets to hear something from a cats perspective. The only downside: Sometimes when Alex was asleep Amut wasn't. Apparently Amut had snuck out a few times.

Despite the cats hijinks, Alex figured that he could work the situation to his advantage.

Maybe somehow he could use this against Dr.X.

* * *

The End?...I think.

It feels like the end anyway. So what happens now?

Dr.X will probably be stuck like that forever because I'm a sadist.

Alex and Mr. Tinkles/Amut will probably stay like that forever too because...well it's just damned cute!


End file.
